Grief

I've been watching the George Floyd trial happening in the States. I know I shouldn't. I couldn't watch the videos from the day when it happened. But I find myself drawn to the hope of justice, the hope for my country that something will happen, that things will change.
We had a worker come today to help with something in the house and I was racing trying to find a mask before I opened the door. Such a kind man. I never got to see his smile.
My husband has to leave to go to Ethiopia. There is a war going on and he will be there, in a country falling apart, and I will be here, locked down in Kenya, alone with the children.
So I paint grief. What it feels like, what it looks like to me. The face is stoic, strong, but weighted down with worry. Our shoulders that mountain that carries it.