It's not mindfulness, it's rest.





Insomnia found me a few years ago.


It comes in waves, like storms. Sometimes it is only for a night, other times it lingers for what feels like forever.


Last night I did not sleep at all. Hour upon hour I tossed and turned until there was enough light to claim morning.


It's been a very full few months for me. Homeschooling one, sending the other back to school, lunches packed, homework checked. Trying to find time to paint everyday and launching my own business.


I knew today would be hard. That putting each foot in front of the other could bring tears of exhaustion. But I have learned in this dalliance with insomnia that if I just pay attention to one thing at a time I will be okay. I put myself completely into what I am doing: washing the dishes, standing in the shower, catching butterfiles with my son.


It's called mindfulness, but for me it's deep rest. I can rest in every moment if I just pay attention. Give myself to it fully.